8 People That Are in Every Workplace in the World!

Posted 17/6/2019 by James Selway
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In every workplace in the world there are a unique group of people. You know exactly who these people are! They are very much amongst us.

You may be fortunate to have just one of these rogues in your team or workplace. If so, I envy you! However, some of you will instantly recognise all 8 people mentioned below! If so, my deepest sympathies. I have been there, I have had all of them in my team once before.

They are in every office/workplace in the land, and they irritate literally thousands of people on a daily basis. I would go so far to say that over time you will begin to actively despise them. 


Do you recognise any of these Eight (8) re-occurring workplace characters?


1. The ‘When I used to worked at X’ person!


Annoying colleagues, Recruitment Agencies in Luton, FusionHub


This phrase will be mentioned multiple times a day! ‘When I was at X,’ or, ‘What we did when I was at X’ becomes the stock phrase of this person. Everyone in the workplace knows this. The only person who doesn’t know they are doing this repeatedly is them!

It gets to the point that you are screaming in your head, “Why did you leave X then if they were so bloody amazing?!!”


2. The ‘One up’ person!


office bragger and showoff, Recruitment Agencies in Luton. FusionHub


The ‘One up’ person sometimes is the same person as the person above, which turns the annoyance level up a substantial notch.

Now the ‘One up’ person is a strange breed. Deep down everyone knows that this oneupmanship is partly down to the need to be liked. Which we can all sort of relate to in one way or another. But... It does get bloody annoying. For example, if you came into the office on a Monday having climbed Everest for charity, this person will probably say something along the lines of.

“I did that, I raised more, I did it before you, I had less help, I did it quicker, I did it in worse weather, oh and in just my underpants and doctor martins.” Now it won’t be as direct as this, but it’s what they really mean. 


3. “It’s freezing in here” person!


Person who is always cold at work, Recruitment Agencies in Luton, FusionHub


You will see this person on a mild and temperate English day, usually wrapped up in something. Could be a poncho, but usually a blanket that they brought in one day and is now stashed in their draw with all the other arctic survival kit.

The whole office begins to think this person may be related to reptiles as their body seems unable to regulate its own temperature. This person doesn’t really moan all that much as they have developed and honed their own self coping mechanisms; that they are no longer ashamed to demonstrate to their peers.

However, this person 100% comes out of their shell on a hot summer’s day, when the company air conditioning pumps into action. Everyone is well chuffed the air-con is on, as the office feels as hot as Satan’s garden sauna.

Finally, everyone is cooling down to a nice temperature, then you suddenly hear ‘Is anyone else cold?’ You can hear the collective sighs echoing around the office, as we know what’s coming!  


4. The ‘always has a cold’ person!


Person who is always sick at work, Recruitment Agency in Luton, FusionHub Recruitment


Now there is a strong likelihood that this person is also your person 3 above. That’s my experience anyway.

This person always seems to have a slight case of the sniffles or a constant cold that they can’t seem to shake. When they do shake it they immediately catch another one.

You will know this person by their habitually red chaffed nose, the coughing and spluttering and numerous used scrunched up sniffle tissues on their desk, or in the bin nearest to them. Oh, and usually seen drinking a hot drink with two hands. Said person is also known to regularly check their sick record, and after which they are seen sighing and muttering “Bugger!” That’s right your sick days are now well and truly spent!

We all think the same! “I don’t want to catch it!” We start to question why this person has come in at all. But then we realise, if they took the day off sick today in their condition, the likelihood is they would have to take 90% of the year off sick as well if this was the case. That's more work for us!


5. “Do they do any work?” person!


Lazy colleagues, Recruiter in Luton, FusionHub Recrutiment Agency


Now, this person takes many disguises in the workplace, but over time everyone comes to the same conclusion, some quicker than others. That conclusion is, “Why haven’t they got anything to do?” as your busting your hump trying to hit your deadlines and spin those many plates.

This person clearly hasn’t got the same demands on them like you, or they have, they have just chosen to take a more relaxed approach to them.

This person is a world-class expert in ‘work avoidance’ strategies and techniques. Don’t be fooled, these aren’t natural abilities and have been honed and developed over many years. Said person is often seen talking to random colleagues more than they are at their desk. These colleagues do not want to talk to this person. It’s obvious to everyone, but sadly not to this person!

On the most part, this person is always late for work and has a whole locker full of excuses that on the odd occasion would sound very plausible, but it happens so regularly nobody believes a word. The same person has also never arrived back from their lunch break early, and/or is packed up and ready leave work at least 15 minutes before they actually should. But, if you arrive to work late just once, you get bollocked. How is this fair you ask yourself!


6. ‘The tea and coffee making avoidance ninja’ person!


Person who never makes drinks in the office, never makes tea or coffee, Recruitment Agency in Luton


We all know the social etiquette in an office when it comes to wanting a tea or coffee for yourself. Yes, that’s right, we have to ask everyone else if they want one.

Although none of us actually want to do this, and we pray that nobody is thirsty, we just have to do it. It’s some sort of weird ritualistic tradition. So, on the most part, we conform to this tradition and just suck it up and get it done.

But there is always one person that doesn’t want to play this game. One could call them either extremely selfish or extremely remarkable, and we secretly want to be like them. We envy their aloofness to office tradition.

You know the person. Your gasping for a drink and your thoughts turn to the effort it’s going to involve on your part if you make your desires known to the rest of the office. Because everyone always wants a brew when you offer! Everyone!

You slowly lift yourself up from your desk, and you scan the room and you see people’s heads raising slightly above their screen. But wait! You also see steam rising from someone’s desk. Oh, but of course, this person has secretly gone and made themselves a coffee and has not asked anyone else! 

"FFS" you mutter to yourself, then with a heavy heart you pipe up and say, “Anyone want a tea or coffee?” And so, it begins. You stand in the kitchen thinking to yourself that you didn’t come to work to train as a barista; as you slave over 20 different tea and coffee orders hating the fact that Soy is even a thing now!


7. ‘Complete lack of personal space boundaries’ person


Invading personal space at work, Recruitment Agencies in Luton


Every office has this person, the one that communicates with you, and in doing so is approximately 4 inches from your face. Everyone knows this in the office, but yet nobody has plucked up the courage to tell this person that every time they speak with anyone, it feels like the above image! Only with more anxiety!

More often than not you end up with a tiny bit of spit that slams into your eyelash. Boom!! Do they know they did that? They must do!!! Is it socially acceptable for me to wipe my eye??? Oh God... I don’t know!!!! I will leave it then.

You hope the conversation will be over soon and someone has some Optrex, or you have to do the usual thing of sticking your eyeball under a tap in the office loos whilst thinking 'germ wise' this probably isn’t any better. Then you start getting annoyed about the person we will mention next, worrying that if not this person, then the next person will definitely be responsible for your bout of 'Pink Eye,'


8. ‘The Adult that missed toilet training’ person!


Office toilets always dirty, Luton based recruitment agency


This person inflicts misery on all that has the misfortune to share their toilets. You know the person I mean. The person who you think couldn’t possibly leave their own toilet at home in the same state they choose to leave the ones at work!

This person, unfortunately, has no idea relating to the following chain of events that are required to go to the toilet like a decent human being. I won’t go into much detail, but this person has little or no understanding of what the flush is for, that fluids need to go inside the toilet bowl, and not on it, or on the floor. Coupled with a complete lack of understanding that toilet paper should not be placed on the floor and left.

From experience usually, this is the same person who likes to tell you about their ingenious plan of having their 'daily poo' at work, as it’s on company time! They have even worked out exactly what they are on (£) per those 15 personal mins. 




Have I missed anyone glaringly obvious? If so, comment below and take out your frustration on me! 



Found of FusionHub Recruitment, Recruitment Agencies in Luton



About FusionHub Recruitment Agency 


We specialise in Permanent and Fixed Term Contract Recruitment for Entry to Mid-Level Commercial roles in Bedfordshire, Milton Keynes and surrounding areas.

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